As I work on packing my family of seven to move back to the States from Indonesia, and as I make decisions about what to bring, what to sell, and what to throw away, I often think of a quote by William Morris:
“Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.”
The thing is, while most people would love to live up to this sentiment, they find it far too difficult to implement. I believe that this is because there is a third category: the sentimental. Most of us have boxes (or whole garages!) filled with things we find neither useful nor beautiful, and yet we hold onto them. They carry some special place in our hearts and in our memories. Letters from old friends, hard-won trophies from high school, that ugly dish your favorite aunt gave you for your wedding. We don’t want the stuff, but we don’t want to let go of the memory.
A pregnancy test I had been holding onto since 2002!
The problem is, life has a way of creating more memories and accumulating more stuff. Never has been there such a push for people to simplify, to organize, and to purge. People crave having less stuff but they just don’t know how to make it happen. How do you get rid of your child’s favorite outfit? Who cares if he hasn’t fit into it for the last six years…it is his favorite! As someone who has moved a lot of times (13 times in the past 12 years to be exact), I have learned a few things about moving the memories.
My husband’s childhood Bible that we photographed back in 2008 before moving to Indonesia
Here are a few simple suggestions:
1. Internalize the quote above. If it is not useful or beautiful (and I am talking about useful right now, not in 20 years when your kids have kids!), then it goes. It is the only way to make sure that you truly simplify and stop lugging around stuff you will never use.
My Malaysian wallet, including my expat card, Coffee Bean Card, airline baggage stubs, and more. I’ve been keeping this wallet for the past six years because I have some weird fascination with the stuff we put in our wallets and I feel like I can “go back” to a point in time.
2. Before you start chucking things into the trash, though, preserve the memory. As photographers and scrapbookers we have the wonderful option of saving the memory without saving the stuff. If you have an item that you know you will never use again or that you would never decorate your home with, you need to part with it. But before you do, take a picture of it. Create a layout about it. Hold onto the memory without holding on to the actual object. Scans and photos take up very little space and yet they are just as powerful. I scan my kid’s artwork, take pictures of favorite stuffed animals they no longer play with, and take pictures of silly things that were a big part of our life.
My sweet son’s “Beep Beep.” We paid $5 for it in Malaysia and he used it every day for about four years. It was tempting, but I resisted bringing it to Indonesia with us!
3. For each person, there are a few exceptions. For me, as I finish packing yet another house, there are a few tangible things I am not quite ready to part with. I saved each of my children’s coming home outfits. I’ve saved a few favorite books, even if the covers are torn off. I’ve rescued a little monkey stuffed animal that my kids didn’t want because it was the first thing I ever bought for a child of mine. There are a few things. But the rest, well, they needed to go. You need to decide what are the few things that you will give yourself permission to hold onto.
My bronze medal from the Odyssey of the Mind Word Finals, 1995
4. Let go of the guilt. Just because you get rid of something, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hold any value. In fact, the opposite might be true. It might hold tremendous emotional value. But if something is just sitting in a box, never to see the light of day, wouldn’t it be better off being preserved in a photo and perhaps on a scrapbook page then collecting dust in the garage? Is it really worth paying money for a storage unit, building bigger houses, adding shelves to every nook and cranny just so we can save the memories? Getting rid of a gift from your grandmother doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you a wise person who would rather own your stuff than have your stuff own you.
A piece of fabric from a pair of pajama pants that I wore almost exclusively through my first two pregnancies. They literally fell apart!
As I have gone through my house this time, I have been even more ruthless in the purging. One afternoon, I opened a small photo box labeled, “memories” and I went through each item, asking myself if it was really necessary to keep it. A few things I kept, but most things were set on the bathroom counter (it’s where I was at the moment) and I took pictures. Lots of pictures. And then—here was the hard and yet oh-so-good-part—I threw most of the stuff away. My garbage was overflowing and yet I feel a stronger connection with those memories now than I did then. I can’t wait to scrap some of the memories!
A can of Drano that we used to accurately predict the gender of our first four kids!
The next time you get ready to move or just to purge and simplify, take a good look at your things. Ask yourself if they are useful or beautiful. If they are in storage, ask yourself why they are in storage? Ask yourself if it is something that a photo would preserve as well as the item itself. And then feel the exhilaration of watching the pile of “stuff” dwindle as you reclaim your living space. It feels good, I promise!
Here are a few layouts I have done in the past with scanned and/or photographed items. I think they look much better here than in a cardboard box!
What do you do with all the sentimental stuff you know you won’t use but don’t want to get rid of? Does it scare you to think of throwing things out or giving them away?
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Great article! I did this with my childrens school art projects. I havent done it yet but I have thought about taking pictures of clothing such as my mothers wedding dress she gave me and then actually cut and use some pieces of it on a traditional scrapbook page such as a pearl or a trim of lace before getting rid of it. (It has some mold on it anyway.
Janet, thank you so much for this post. I preach this to others all the time. Often I have not been such a good follower. Your quote and your experiences have made me look at my habits and I will work on getting rid of more of the “things” that are just taking up space.
Such a good reminder, and timely for spring cleaning as well! I just recently tossed the pack of bc pills that sporadic taking resulted in our surprise daughter. I’d had them for 8 years! sigh
Thank you for the great idea! I will be moving next month and I have been trying to clean out closets and storage rooms. I have had a hard time throwing things away and this article is a tremendous help!
I have been putting off getting rid of stuff for ages. Oh hey my whole life.
I have needed to purge for a long time I think I can do it now with the great suggestions you have given us.
Thank you so much!
Ugh Now to start!
Welcome back to the States! And, I am completely stumped by the Drano can’s predictive abilities! How DOES that work???
I thought the post was great, but what led me to comment was: OM WORLD FINALS!
Congratulations on that.
I did OM every year from 4th-9th grade and loved every second.
Awesome post Janet! It is just what I needed today. Thank you!
Oh, man… You’re hitting hard today, Janet!
I’ve been trying to clean out our playroom this weekend (sans children), and I keep asking myself – am I keeping these toys for them (my boys) or for me? If I’m keeping it for me, well, that’s just silly! But, as I look at each thing, I can remember who gave it to us, or how they used to play with it when they were babies. Sigh… It’s hard work! Thanks for the inspiration. I love the layouts!
Janet, you are speaking to ALL of us. One doesn’t have to be moving to see the need to ‘downsize’ their stuff. Our family of five has lived in the same home for 22 years and we parents will probably be here for another 22! Do we have stuff or do we have stuff? I feel like reading your post was a ‘V-8′ moment. I own a camera and scanner, I scrapbook digitally–why didn’t I think to photograph/scan some of our memorabilia and then purge it? Not sure, but I’m on it now! THANK YOU!!!
Thank you for the great post. I know I should do all the things you described and your experiences have given me the courage to really start the process. Thank you!
This article spoke directly to me. I’m so afraid of making the “throw away” choice, that things just pile up. Thanks so much for posting this. I’m going to get my camera out to preserve the memory and then purge the “stuff”.
Brilliant post! And very motivating too! Thank you!
Thanks for the awesome article.I needed it.I’m getting ready to move from Europe to the Us for the first time.I’ve been living in this house for 15 years and I’m trying to sort out my stuff.It’s a big challenge.I already started taking photos everyday so I could make a project life album of this time in my life.It’s a big change for me and I want to keep the memories.I really love your idea of throwing away stuff but keeping photos of them.Since last year I’m taking photos of gifts I give(I never remember them)and cards I send,so Now I’ll take photos of things I’ll give away or throw away.Thanks again for the inspiration.
What a great post. I grew up an Army kid and found it hard to let go of things, most that I considered sentimental. Maybe it was because I never had “roots” so those things sort of became part of home for me. As an adult (like you) my husband and I moved to Indonesia and had no choice but to let almost everything go. And I have to say it was completely freeing. Now I am able to keep only what is beautiful and useful – well, with a few exceptions (lol). However, I hadn’t really thought about photographing and scrapping some of those items before. Thanks for the great tips and examples. I will definitely use this idea!
I needed this post tonight! Feeling overwhelmed with the mess but have great difficulty throwing anything out. Thanks for your insights.
Great Post! I’m not moving but after a major home renovation/addition, I have lots of STUFF in boxes and am debating what is now worth keeping. Funny it hadn’t occured to me to photograph and write stories about some of the things that have meaning but are no longer useful – like my daughters crib bedding and the cozy coupe :O)
I really like how you incorporated your scans in to the pages. I would love to know the source of the stitches around your pages.
I could be wrong, but those stitches look like Essential Stitches No. 1 by Syrin at Catscrap:
http://www.catscrap.com/shoppe/product.php?productid=16534&cat=264&page=1
I’m pretty sure you are right Heddy! Janet and I both went through a long Syrin stitches phase…I need to get them back out again
thanks ladies!